That dream again

Another dream where I'm fearless,
or closer yet to it.
Amends with my old mistakes are made
all congregating in the same general castle.
The stairs are never-ending
up and up crooked edges from wall to wall
and then the purple doorways
with over-sized metal doors.
A million broken school desks
and flutes guitars and notes.
This is the music room, no doubt.
I don't have a music class.
I leave her there, wish her luck.
And again my classes go unattended because
I don't care for their lessons much at all.
She walks me away from room 208
all the way up in the 300's,
and we rush through the halls with their glass doors
and glass rooms and teachers and lines
and tiles.
But then she's gone, because she doesn't belong here.
"Why were you gone?"they ask,
the boys who really fucked me over.
To put it quietly, with shame I say
"I was mentally unstable."
It's sad and pathetic and I go out to smoke
and the school is left once again
restored as the castle I'll never see.

I've had the dream again, you understand.
And every time I do I feel a little more sick.
But what can you do?
We are who we are.