The monster mash...

Silly silly twisty-tied-up words on their little posts -- hanging to death slowly.
Their wings get taped back, tacked to the records and spin-spin-spinning in circles...oh-so-disco.

Flash:


Wings start falling off, triangles tipping, turning, cracking. 
People dance to the broken music; robotic movements that twick-twack g-g-go in certain patterns. 


Flash:


No one notices the faerie lights go out, so everything's in complete darkness. The wings catch no light; they're on the floor by now, being trampled by the robotic movements the dancers call day-to-day activities. 


Flash:


This is the default music. 
The spinning creatures who died. Who's dying? Certain some-ones who ..who what?


Little faerie lights break; the tiny pieces of glass sliding into people's feet as they STOMP-STOMP-STOMP to the twizzling-fizzled-out music. 


Flash:


Little-little's scream startles everyone. How dare she interrupt their party! 
Her feet track bloody writing everywhere, telling a story far too cryptic for anyone to understand. 


Problem: she can't stop screaming.
Solution: shut up.
Problem: not that easy.
Solution: aw fuck. 


Grand-oldy people tap their heads side-to-side, clicking their tongues at the uncontrolled mess.
"Silly," they agree.

But through all this, did anyone watch the butterfly's wings fall to the floor, in a state of complete silence, straight through the music and stomps?
Through all this, did anyone see how the light caught the wing, singeing a small rainbow into the floorboard cracks for a complete semi-second?

I watched, because I was not dancing.
I noticed, because I was not looking.

I was not looking, yet I saw.
I see.

And everyone else?

Dry your eyes, mate.

Oh, oops.
I forgot I existed.

Please understand.

"We never meant to stay here..."
"Is it your intention to break my heart?"
"We were here for the gold, here for the go..."
"You're so distant."
"We got stuck here for the winter."
Sometimes it's not exactly our intentions, but whatever happens.


And you know, things happen. Hearts grow weaker, weaker.

"We got stuck here for the winter
Blinded by golden dollar signs
We built some simple structures
Temporary, not permanent
But each year we dug much deeper
And each year things got more serious
Each year our hearts grew weaker"




But. 
Things. 
Happen. 


So give it up, already. 
You know what this is. 
You know what's happening. 


And things do happen. 

You know exactly what I mean by this

Fine.

Fuck you, then.

Dc.

You say that made you shiver, but I couldn't even feel it.

What was there, anyway, that was so great?

It's just words. Just my silly, silly words...

Blinded. By. The. Light. Running, in the night...

What.

How.

Why.

What are we doing. How did we get here. Why are we still Here?

I hate this place.

I've said before, it's nowhere. It's nowhere, nonsense, silly. It's lost.

But I'm still here.

Still Here.

Should I be happy? Smile, get away?

Should I be faking something?

Anything.

Everything?

Lateral.

Toomuchtoomuchtoomuch.

From Skins

She said I sounded like Cassie.

I knew it.

Everything is forgiven, forgotten.

She cares.

Words, obstructions, lying, fucks'sake.

Words.

Everyday, words.

Answers, greetings, questions, all strung together to form opinions and obstructions.

Obstructions, because words aren't enough.

Because lies aren't enough.

But hey, that's fine.

Lying is fine, if you have a good reason.

But why am I lying?

For your sake? For mine?

Tell me why I'm lying, so it stops hurting so much.

Tell me, clear as day, with your words,

and I'll

use

mine.

Notenoughtime,stopwastingaway

Might as well post this now, in case I don't get the chance later...

"I'm starting to hate everything you do -or don't do- because I can't hate anything you've done."

Expanding

'5 wanderers were travelling together, looking for somewhere to live'. They settle in a dark cave, each of them content because the shadows hide their deepest darkest secrets. Together, they hunt, they play. They live with and support each other; like family. No lying.

But suddenly more wanderers stumble in, lost in modern-day socirty. They are easily welcomed into the makeshift family, and all their faults are accepted.

Lifeisgoodlifeisfine.

And then... the arguments start. "Oh, well you're not really this, you haven't really done that; you're LYING!"

Not to blame anyone, but no one fought before more wanderers joined. Sh, but that's a secret, too.

But then people start getting hurt; they start hurting themselves, because of it. And then.all.hell.breaks lose.

"Liar Liar Pants on Fire Burning on your FUCKED UP wire!" and "Roses are red, Violets are blue, I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE! and I don't believe you."

Things start to get personal and people start digging up flaws and secrets from the dark cavern shadows. Everything, The whole cave itself, is unstable.

Suddenly, walls start caving in. Rubble corrupts the air and makes it hard to breathing. Everyone's complaining, but they keep prodding and digging. And

things

fall

apart.

And people

fall

together.

And nothing makes sense anymore, because the sun's not shining. The clouds of shit block it out. And then someone digs in the wrong shadow, and a volcano erupts; one that'll keep on spitting out haze for weeks.

So certain wanderers leave home and family, only to fend for themselves, somewhere distand and cold. But that was their choice.

They left, so they are forgotten. And they ATTEMPT to go home and be happy again... but they've been replaced and forgotten. Original wanderer or not, they're barely tolerated, if anything. Ignore and forgotten.

So they leave again, shamed. Hating themselves.

Being hated.

They leave, keep wandering, alone. They're just going further and further out. They're getting themselves

lost.

Then they find themselves alone, disoriented, exhausted. Their feet hurt from walking. Their lungs, from breathing. So they sit down and look around.

Everything hurts; they can't move anymore. Can't keep going. Sure, it's dark (but it's not) and cold, and they're starving...being alone. But they can't move.

"Here," they think.

"Here is nowhere, and I'm stuck."

Today I am me.

Today I am....

-Changing

-Talking

-Breathing

-Living

-Smiling

-Caring

-Fighting

-Happy

Yesterday I was....

-Upset

-Angry

-Indifferent

-Choking

-Unhappy

Today, I am me.

But yesterday I was me too.

I don't know who I am, but I'm happy.

...for now.

And

I

am

going to go blind and

die and

fall too far and

-shit....

I don't even know.

Quoting again

"I am cloaked in a grime consisting of obscurity and lethargy.
I'm half content and half raging.
Over what? I don't fucking know.
I'd like to scrape the mouths off of several human beings with my bare hands.
I'd like to run around in circles until I'm too dizzy to live.
I'd like to stay awake for days so my lunacy can somehow mask itself and be considered fucking genius.
I'd like for people to stop greeting me with false enthusiasm.
I'd like for them to walk away and leave me be.
I'd like to dissolve in the palm of your hand.
It's not like you'd notice.
Its not like anyone would notice.
I'd like to be that grain of sand you dunk your toes into
You can mold me when you stomp on my decaying atmosphere.
I'd like to be that thing of your past that haunts you each day.
I'd like to poke my eyes out with needles.
I'd like to disassemble myself in front of you.
You'd know how I'd work.
I'd be ripped flesh and broken bones in all of my glory.
A no longer beating heart yelling at you from the floor.
Screaming at you for god knows what.
I'd like to be gone.
I'd like for you to be gone."
-msa

But for you to be gone... I am you. It's me.

...

[I'm different]

But I'm not...

I hate you

So much right now just because I'm forgotten.

But I left -left myself?- and it's my fault, anyway.

There's nothing I can do to make it any better, but I keep falling and I don't really ...want to get back up. The urge to jump is so much stronger...

and you're constantly yelling, screaming, laughing...

Please.

Just leave me alone.

Leave me, forget me...

I'm gone.

But I'm not, yet. It just hurts. It just hurts, being forgotten by everything I worked so hard for. And to have you take it all way again and again and again... fine. It's yours. You can have it. I give up. Take it. Take them. Take everything that's mine...tell on me, let me fall, kill me off, cut me up, make me bleed, make me cry, let me die...please let me die...