I am terrible.

I should feel terrible.
Every second, every minute, every day.

I should feel terrible, absolutely, painstakingly terrible.

But,
it's not exactly like I always do.

Sometimes, the guilt's just not there,
and those are the days
I survive.

Until... until you go and do that
again.
And then,
as usual,
it hurts.

You're hurting me, but how do I tell you that?
You haven't even done anything wrong.
This is my fault,
my mistake,
me.

And yet, I'm torturing you, for it.

Why the fuck don't I feel terrible?