Thinking

I'm thinking.

Considering something, just a few things. Thinking about the crash. Thinking about darkness.
But that's boring shit, isn't it? That's attention-seeking, and shallow, and played out. Right?
But see, that's honestly what I'm thinking about.

I took the bus today. Went for a walk far away somewhere I could get lost.
And I did. I got lost, but I already was, mentally.
The subway's too confusing, anyway. Maps and stations and I fell asleep, so I guess I musta missed my stop.
But it's not like it matters, because I just got off at the very last stop and looked around, and all I saw was fucking shacks and dying-trees.
And that means jack, but it hit me, that I was really, physically lost.

No, I didn't break down and cry. No, I didn't ask for help.
I just sat there in my lostness, and thought.

And I thought about exactly the same things I'd think about if I was sitting in class, or at the beach, or on my couch. It doesn't matter, anyway. You can go ahead and take a guess.
I was thinking, about the same things I'm thinking about now.

I think I'll go ahead and quote Mr. Shakespeare now.
"To be, or not to be. That, is the question."

When Mr.Teacher was talking, about Shakespeare, he asked, " 'To be, or not to be. That is the question.' What do you think Shakespeare meant by that? What do you think it was about?"
And in my mind, I thought, "Suicide. The killing of oneself."
And I was right.
And so, I'll shut up now, and let you do some thinking of your own.

Seriously, give it some thought.
Are you ready to make the deal with death, or are you going to toy with lady luck and hope for the best?