Thursday, March 4, 2010

Humming along...

When everything is confusing.
Confusing, and messy, and complicated, and fucked up, and dusty, dirty, bloody, soft-skin-on-skin, touching, bleeding, bruising.... When everything is broken shards in sand, little surprises for un-suspecting beach-goers... Little bloody treats to fill your fat face with...
That's when I'm alone.

That's when everyone decides to leave me alone, choking, stuttering, and freezing. With small blue finger-prints on my skin, marking a path, a day, a life... Not mine, though. Never mine, because this isn't about me.
::Confusing/messy/complicated/fuckedup/dusty/dirty/bloody/touching/bleeding/bruising/skinonskin/bloody little mess::
I'm alone, in the sand, falling through. Brushing up against those shards, counting every mark I get, the possibility that it's the same piece, overandover doesn't register. It's everyone cutting me; everything.
Every piece, every word, every person, every smile, every frown, every noise, every hug, every touch, every thought, every patonthebackGOODJOB....
Wow.
Absolutely everything...

How funny?

But I promise I won't hurt you. I promise you that I'll follow through, betsAreON!
I promise you I'll pack up my bags and leave the first moment you want me to. Yeah, I swear on my life, on my bloody, fucking life.
On my life.
And... promises are not kept.
And if I go back on those promises... I'll kill myself for you I'll be a fuck up.

And we all know... No, wait. What do we know?
::Confusing/messy/complicated/fuckedup/dusty/dirty/bloody/touching/bleeding/bruising/skinonskin/bloody little mess::
We know we'll fuck up, someday.
But we're prepared.

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